Hang In There
How do you stop a Cat out of control?
You Kill it.
Explanation
Cat is a Linux program, and so is Kill.
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65 Jokes
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41 Proverbs
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22 Riddles
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Latest Jokes
Hang In There
How do you stop a Cat out of control?
You Kill it.
Explanation
Cat is a Linux program, and so is Kill.
Halallujah
What did the cow say to the Indian Farmer? Kill me, and eat, Mohammad.
Explanation
The Indian Farmer is a Muslim; in India they worship cows. The cow is “God” and paraphrasing Acts 10:13 which says, ‘And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.”’
Moot Went To Mexico
Moot once ran away to Mexico.
He took Snacks with him!
nog-nog
Nog Nog.
Who br?
Brab.
Brab wo?
Spurddo :p
The German
What do you call a man who’s fed up with his nation?
I’ll Hitler
The Difference
What is the difference between a man and a woman? A vas deferens.
Explanation
A vast difference.
Latest Proverbs
Galvanize
When change is slow, use a catalyst.
Galvanize your brethren by intolerating evil and schemes.
Show yourself Holy.
Explanation
Becoming separate from the world will either galvanize someone to love or hate you.
Makeup
If makeup is beauty, the water of life is shallow.
What a horrible thought.
Explanation
God instituted beauty, and if beauty really is only skin deep, then his character is shallow. Jesus!
Waiting On A Miracle
Waiting is terrible. But once the baby is born nobody cares how long it took.
Explanation
Duplicate of Proverbs 13:12, which says:
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.“
Plato’s Rave
If the world thought you could only make a living by dancing, would you join in?
You’ve already answered.
Explanation
The world teaches real happiness is found in working hard and tirelessly until you “make it”. By working a job you hate or tolerating evil people at your workplace (not counting Nebuchadnezzar, he was a King and God told them to submit), you’ve been dancing for as long as you’ve followed The World’s teaching.
Never Have I Ever
“I walked a million paces and never once stubbed my toe.”
-t. nobody.
Explanation
Everybody makes mistakes.
Overprotective
If you’re an overprotective parent, know this. God is a better Father than you.
Explanation
God gives us the freedom to choose what we want to do, even if it’s not good for us.
Latest Riddles
Virtuous
I am a lot.
Lift me up.
Take your Bible out cause this is a biblical riddle.
Answer/Explanation
The answer is Virgin(s).
- 144,000 virgins is a lot.
- Euphemism for being crucified; Jesus is a virgin.
- Virtuous is a synonym for virgin.
Woof Woof
“Woof Woof”
Roughly translates to: I won’t enter heaven.
What am I?
Answer/Explanation
The answer is Dogs, or better, Cowards.
- Revelation 22:15 says dogs.
- Revelation 21:8 says cowardly
Meaning cowards won’t enter heaven.
ACHTUNG!
Will I bear a sword?
Or will we eat meat?
Many seek my face.
What am I?
Answer/Explanation
The answer is a King.
- A King may bear a sword and be just using it. See Romans 13:3,4.
- He may be an unjust ruler who’s stingy. See Proverbs 23:1-3.
- Another way of saying everyone seeks the kings favour. Proverbs 19:6
A Breath
I am almost never shorter than a breath.
My senses tell me I’m the best.
My enemy sooth-says my ascension.
What am I?
Answer/Explanation
A Man.
- A mans life is typically longer than a breath
- Because of the fall, we think we should be God.
- The Angel of Light lies to people.
Marksmanship
I am a weapon.
No lighter than a feather.
Only pros can truly wield me.
What am I?
Answer/Explanation
The answer is Words.
- Words can kill.
- As light as the paper it’s written on.
- Prose.
Blowing Sand
I uses to be made out of stone.
Now I’m made out of glass.
What am I?
Answer/Explanation
The answer is a Tablet.
1) The Rosetta stone was made out of stone.
2) Modern tablet displays are made out of glass.